Wednesday, April 15, 2020

commercial break.

I am writing this to everyone out there who remembers commercials on the television. You know what I'm talking about? That 2ish minutes during your favorite TV show where you hopped off the couch, sprinted to the bathroom, zoomed back into the kitchen to grab a snack and sit back down just in time for "Boy Meets World" to pick back up again... remember that?

I know, I know... it is hard to believe that a time existed before Netflix! It is also hard to believe how much we accomplished in that short period of time, and how that doesn't really happen anymore in our modern world. The equivalent for us today is when Netflix asks "are you still watching?" And we all shamefully and in a very annoyed manner hit "DUHHHHH" and make sure no one saw us as we slip back into our binging. But that nanosecond of time it took for us to lean toward our laptops and tap the "continue watching" button (why is there even another option there really??!), is not enough time for us to get anything done!

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am serious! I started thinking about what I would do now if I had commercials during my programs... I'd probably wash a dish or two, wipe down the table, probably still grab a snack because food, text a friend, get a glass of water, fold some laundry and SO MUCH MORE! If you were to add up the minutes of productivity during commercials of an hour long show... that is about 16 minutes! What kind of things could you do with 16 minutes? I'm serious!! Think about it!!!

You are probably asking yourself about now why I am rambling on about TV commercials. Lucky for you, I will tell you...



Just kidding I will tell you now LOL. So currently, the whole entire world, is on a commercial break. We have been on autopilot, binging life if you will, completely unaware of so much around us.

Have you ever been sitting on the couch watching "Gilmore Girls" and realized your Mom was standing on the other side of the room, and the ONLY way to get there is by walking in front of the screen? But the kicker is... you didn't even see her walk over there! At first your mind goes to the obvious things: she teleported or she is dabbling in dark magic or she is just a mirage!!! But you know what really happened? You (and me too) were so absorbed in the screen and catching every last ridiculously fast quip Lorelai and Rory share that your brain completely ignored her walking in front of your line of vision. I know it has happened to all of us at one time or another... right??

But anyway, back to reality! Right now we have been handed a "short commercial break." We have been given that time to wipe down those tables, cook those meals, plant those gardens, put away those clothes, FaceTime those friends and do those exercises we always said we would!

As a kid I always dreaded the commercials, but as an adult I see the value in being "shaken" out of "the zone." How much more do you enjoy the show when it comes back on? How much more do you appreciate it when it has been taken away from you?

Obviously this whole commercial/TV talk is a metaphor and hopefully foreshadowing for what is to come in the aftermath of Corona. I know we are all anticipating the end, looking forward to "normal" life and counting down the minutes until it is all over, but what small, but meaningful tasks can you complete in this time you do have? What will you do with your "commercial break?" And how much more will you appreciate life when you have the chance to "do it" again?

-R

Friday, April 10, 2020

solitude.

Happy Friday, Happy 35652 Day of Quarantine, Happy Day!

Yesterday that was green
The last two days have been meh. I'll be real honest with you. Yesterday after finally having a completely snow-free yard, Mother Nature had the audacity to dish out a fresh blanket of heavy snow! Don't get me wrong, I usually love snow, but really??! We just got rid of the stuff! And then there's today... let's just call it drippy and dreary day. It's the kind of day where you want to curl up on the couch under a blanket, drink a hot beverage and maybe even take a nap while you drool on the book you almost thought about reading. It's just cold, and staying inside seems a whole lot more comfortable.

In the past, days like these made me feel lonely. It's the kind of day where I would start thinking about all the people I can't see (virus or not), and how I wish they were here with me. The kind of day where I would start feeling sad because I was alone. The kind of day that made me wish I were a kid again with that incredible imagination that could take you anywhere besides right here on this couch. That kind of day...

Quarantine has definitely made it a little more challenging than a usual gloomy April shower day, because I can't just browse Homegoods or meet up with a friend to occupy my mind. I can't go to the beach in my raincoat or visit a local park. I must not be the only one who understands being "cooped up," right?

But let me tell you something... Since the onset of quarantine, something positive has sprouted in me. It is something that did not come naturally to me, nor did it formulate at day one or even day 6, but slowly transpired as more and more days passed and I was forced to be alone for many hours during the day. I discovered that loneliness is not the same as solitude.

Solitude is a choice. And just like being happy, we can choose to be content in solitude. These past few weeks has garnered a newfound appreciation for physical human connection, but at the same time, it has showed me how powerful I can be when I am in solitude.

An oldie, but I like these people!
I have ALWAYS been a people person! I enjoy silly banter with friends and loved ones, I love playing with kids and being as imaginative as they are, I love meeting new people and finding out what makes them tick, I love hearing people's emotions and being that person someone can trust, I love striking conversations with random people in the grocery store over what laundry detergent they use or where they bought their purse and I absolutely love watching friends roll their eyes as I spout out more ridiculous (but 387535267% necessary) puns every 10-15 seconds. I love people. I almost always choose to spend my time with family or friends over being alone because being around an intimate group of people is more interesting and fun to me than the activities I would usually do alone.

Activities I happily do alone:
-Write in my journal
-Watch Gilmore Girls
-Read a book
-cry in the shower

Activities I do alone, but would prefer to do with people:
-Everything else

Get the picture? I did not do a whole heck of a lot without other people! I have NEVER gone to a movie alone, I have NEVER gone to a bar and ordered a drink for one nor have I gone to a sit down restaurant and eaten by myself... have you?

Anyway... this isn't a story about the old adventures of "old Rachele," this is about the new concepts that "growing Rachele" is just starting to grasp. "Growing Rachele" realized fairly quickly in quarantine that she did not have a crystal ball and since she lacked that vital tool, she would not have any clue when this would all end. In fact... no one had a crystal ball. And you know what that means, right? She was forced to accept it and discover new ways, aside from friends and family and kids and co-workers, to make her happy. And you know what she discovered?!? She gets along way better with herself than she thought she would, and better yet, they have a lot in common!

While I still crave friendship and use that word regularly as the answer to every question people ask me (if you know me you understand that...), I have become way more comfortable being content with myself. I have created routines for my mornings, I have
set limits on certain activities, I have tried making new foods, I have "let my freak flag fly" in the creativity world, I have made sure I get fresh air almost every day and I have been able to turn my brain completely OFF instead of letting it spiral toward frustration about something I cannot control (most of the time)! I have found solitude and stepped away from loneliness.

And I am not saying I am perfect... I still feel lonely every now and again, but in all honesty, we were trained that way! I am not saying it is anyone's fault, but there is so much societal pressure to be social and to have friends, that no one is ever taught how to be by themselves. I have always felt the tremendous pull of F.O.M.O. (the fear of missing out) because intrinsically, I am terrified of feeling "left out." What if I chose instead, J.O.M.O. (the joy of missing out)? What if I decided I would rather spend time working on myself and my personal goals than feel alone.

Like I said, we can make that choice. It took me 27 years and a wicked contagious virus to teach me this one. What new thing have you learned in quarantine?

-R

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

reset.

Me & Zach
Hello there blogging world. It has been far too long, 4 years in fact! I may not be returning at the most positive time in our history, but timing is everything, and when something feels right you just go with it! Am I right??

I started blogging at a time in my life when I was alone in Florence, Italy, and I needed a space to connect with others. I stopped as life got busier, jobs changed, humans came in and out of my life and I moved to a whole new place! My journal just seemed like a simpler place to store all my emotions (and believe me... there are a TON of emotions in there). However, while chatting with my Mom about our new "normal," she referred back to my time writing in here. A time where I was isolated from many of my friends and I was in a foreign place without my family, and I feel somewhat connected to that 2013 Rachele. She may have been more immature, slightly skinnier and sitting in a more spectacular spot than 2020 Rachele (because seriously... who doesn't love Italy??!?), but we both still feel that inexplicable draw for human connection. And in that respect, we share a kindred spirit. A spirit that has drawn me back to this very place.

I find it interesting and also comforting that all of us are kindred spirits right now. No matter the season of our lives or our location in the world, we are ALL going through Covid-19 together. We are all shaken, we are all stirred and we are all mixed up. Some of us are juggling 475836 kids or teaching remote learning, some of us are still risking our lives in the workforce, some are working from home or trying to keep their small business afloat, some are learning new study platforms and hoping to remain sane, all the while trying to stay away from other human beings (who suddenly became very scary and also potentially very dirty overnight). And some of us are doing all of those things at once! Are we all superheroes? (anyway... that's a different blog post).

So, I am in no way saying this time is easy, but I want us to take a step back for a second... take a deep breath, and look at this situation from afar. Look down on yourself and say, "Hi [insert name here], you are amazing. You are doing your best. You are going to survive this. And you are going to use this as a fresh start... a RESET!"

RESET!!?
1. oh, the blender isn't working? Unplug it and plug it back in.
2. Your phone is on the fritz again? Turn it off and turn it back on again!
3. You aren't feeling well? Why don't you take a nap and when you wake up you'll feel better!


See that? All forms of a reset. We do it all the time... so why wouldn't the world/God/your cousin Jim (or whatever/whoever you believe in) do it to us? If you look back on our history, something like this has happened before... more than once.

Nonetheless, we could all (yes, even you!) use a reset. Humans have been nonstop for far too long. We just keep moving forward because we have to, and sometimes fairly aimlessly. This era of our history is full of so much distraction. Between phones at our fingertips and endless streams of TV shows on Netflix, WiFi connection EVERYWHERE, Tik Tok videos engulfing social media platforms and countless video games! We are losing time. Valuable time with our loved ones... mostly just scrolling! Aside from the obvious ways to reduce the spread of Corona (physical distancing, staying at home, masks... you get the picture), there is nothing we can do about it... so what if we just embrace it? (not a human, just the situation).

What if... WHAT IF... this is all happening so we can return to our roots? Return to the days of planting our own gardens, eating family dinners, playing outside until the sun sets behind the mountains, rolling with our dogs in the backyard, hearing stories about our great-great-grandparents, getting lost in the woods, learning how to bake bread or speak another language. These were once staples. But as our world has changed, priorities have shifted and moments that were once regular are now rare.

I always ask Zach if he wishes he was alive in a different time period. I ask him because I do wish I lived in a time where life moved a bit slower and human connection was a bit simpler. That does not mean I wished for this!! Believe me. I have struggled plenty with this and I have cried a lot, BUT...

THIS IS OUR CHANCE! Hopefully something like this will never happen again in our lifetimes. So why don't we just take it for what it's worth! Take advantage of it! Become a runner, learn Italian, make a loaf of sourdough bread (even if you fail 483753 times first!), work on a puzzle as a family, write letters!!, SIT IN SILENCE!, take in that amazing Spring sun, write a blog post (mostly added that one for myself), and last but not least... LOVE YOUR LOVED ONES! In fact, if you are near your quarantine buddy (human, dog, cat, pillow, whatever it may be), give it a hug right now (keep it PG).

And you know what else is getting a reset right now?

DRUM
ROLL
PLEASE

Isn't she a beaut?
OUR EARTH! There are dolphins in Venice's canals, the smog over China is dissipating, our ozone layer is healing and so much more! Right now we are being given a second chance to love this beautiful haven we live on! What strides are you going to take to make sure we keep our Earth safe once life goes back to... "normal?" Hopefully we won't take it for granted!

So... I will end this post shortly after a quick recap. This is clearly not a perfect situation. There are people scared, sick and even worse, but there are ways we can make lemonade from this lemon of a situation. There are ways for us to come together from afar to make our world more positive. There are ways for us to be happy again and to find the silver lining that must exist!!! (if you don't know the silver lining I am referring to... please scroll back to the top and read again!)

All in all, please be safe, healthy and happy!

Love you all,
R